The day that changed our lives

What does it take to get a man to visit the doctor?

January 2009

Him: I think I have sciatica.
Me: Nurofen will help, it shouldn't last longer than two weeks.

Two weeks later

Him: I still have it, the nurofen doesn't work.
Me: I think you should visit the doctor.
Him: Hmmm

I worry that it could be MS, but I don't tell him.

June 2009

We are on holiday. We have an argument. Finally Dan tells me what is bothering him.

Him: I am so scared. My arm is numb and I don't know why. It's been going on for months. My other arm was numb last week.
Me: It'll be alright. You have been very stressed. It could be that. Perhaps you should go to the doctor.
Him: Hmmmm.

I worry even more. I notice that he sometimes stumbles.

July 2009

Him: My legs are numb.
Me: You really should go to see a doctor.
Him: Hmmmm

August 2009

Him: My legs are numb

I cannot repeat the rest of what he said, but the jist was that his private areas were numb.

Me: You need to go to the doctor.
Him: OK, I think I will.

So that's what it takes.

He finally goes to the doctor.

I wait for him to come home, distracting myself with housework. He walks in and announces, "My doctor put her finger up my butt, and now I need to go to A&E."

I couldn't help but giggle.

At A&E

They think the problem is in his spine. The orthopedic doctor looks worried. She sends him for an MRI.

After a few tense hours, we hear that the scan is clear. "We are sending for the neurologist," they say.

The neurologist arrives. After a lengthy exam, he says, "We need to find out what's causing the inflammation in your central nervous system. " He arranges another MRI.

The day that changed our lives

We arrive at the hospital to get the results of the scan. Almost as soon as we arrive, we are taken away to a quiet room. The neurologist is there. He shows us the scan. "I'll be straight with you, Daniel," he says. "Your symptoms are being caused by inflammation, like we thought. I need to be straight with you, you have Multiple Sclerosis."

Bang, the bomb drops.

I know we are lucky

Some people go for years with unexplained symptoms before they find out they have MS. It's called limboland. There is a lot of help out there for people with MS and their families. If you are in limboland, what do you do? If that is you, the MS society will help you.

We were lucky to find out so quickly, I know that. It doesn't seem to make it any easier though. From when Daniel was first telling me about his symptoms, I found it hard to cope. The three weeks we went through of waiting for the results for the MRI were living hell. The news that it is MS was devastating.